I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
