and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
