I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
