Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
