He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
