Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
