they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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