butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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