I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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