I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize