Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
