Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
