Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
