Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Randomize
