Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
