So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
