careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
