i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Of course I have a pirate flag
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
