Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Randomize
