i just wanna soil my oats bro
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
