I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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