i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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