I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
