drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
