you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
