just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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