Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize