i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Need sex. Gaining weight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
