I wish i was in the wii world.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
