So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
