Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
