I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
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