next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
