shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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