Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
