the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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