Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
