i think my tv is drunk
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
now i know why i became what i already was.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
