Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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