sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
