so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
