Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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