i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
