The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
