Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
