I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
