Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
