That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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