Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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