So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is Oprah even human
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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