I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize