she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just gargled with NyQuil
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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