I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
