He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
