If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
