i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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