Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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