i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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