It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
