I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Me. At least after what I've been through.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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