Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
