That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
