I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
