My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
