If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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