We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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